In the past week I've had 2 different "end of the world" type nightmares and I guess on top of everything else it's weirded me out.  My step-mom was recently hospitalized for being severely depressed and suicidal and one of her concerns was the end of the world and I guess with it having been something I had thought about prior......HER worrying about something that she has always expressed a longing for (she's a Jehovah's Witness)....it got me thinking......apparently too much.  We are undoubtedly in very difficult times right now and being that it's been a pretty tough winter, I guess like Dr. Phil  says, I shouldn't ask why I'm depressed.....I should ask why not?  I do know this.....I miss my best friend Jenni.  I knew her moving away was going to be hard for me, but I honestly thought I'd get through it as I had when others had drifted out of my life, but that's the difference I guess.  She didn't drift.  She left....(I know she had to)....and it's so far away - but most of all......I never had a friend like her before.  Even now I can't think about her without tears coming.....it has prevented me from talking about her to anyone.  I have only been able to call her and talk to her once and when she had to go suddenly I was so surprisingly hurt it shocked me.  That was the end of July I believe.  I called her to check in on her after the wildfires got close but she didn't call me back and I have not yet been able to bring myself to call her back again.  I need to call her and we need to have a good long talk and I need to have a good long cry.  I know she is going through a very difficult time herself and I think we are both avoiding the breakdown.  We agreed we wouldn't do it before she left because of how far she had to drive cross-country with her family while they were going through a seperation - she told me she had to wait to have her breakdown until she was back in California with her family.  Thing is.....I think I was waiting to have mine  WITH her on the phone and haven't been able to do that yet......and I am just avoiding it.  Therapy.....blogging.....it's why I do it.  Been so busy and blue I haven't used it lately.....need to get back.  I have missed seeing my blogging community and friends.....I appreciate the visits and the messages.  Sorry about the hiatus.....and that the last post I left was political in nature....UGH!   

 

yay Steelers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This weekend we're headed up to Tiffin - Tom's hometown - for a Kickball Party....lol.  Tom's niece organized it all and it's between her mom's tanning salon and another family's flower shop/nursery.  It should be a good time and I'm looking forward to it.  The fear that Tyler will act up is no longer so overpowering and I have had him in enough situations to semi-trust him.  Things are definitely getting better.  There are still issues....but they feel more manageable.  Tyler's Aunt has been taking him on Tuesday's for tutoring and then keeping him with her to help her around the house and just to do things with him one-on-one and just that one day a week gives me a little break that has made a huge difference too.  She's going to Charleston next week, so next Tuesday....we're on our own .  I think I'm going to see if my brother can take him and do something with him....even for just a couple hours.  He really enjoys the time away himself.  If not though, no big deal.  Just wanted to let everyone know, that have left all of the encouraging comments ..... how things have been going.  I have appreciated every word of advice and couldn't have made it through without you all!  Thank-you.     

So much to catch you up on.  It's been stormy here....literally and figuratively.  My computer router needed to be replaced btw....it more than likely had been  damaged by lightening - we've had some really intense storms around here lately.  The sign for anyone else having the problem was my connection coming and going about every minute or less.  VERY annoying.    Fortunately I wasn't the only one wanting the connection fixed ASAP....Tom has a PS3 and it has to be updated via the internet in order for him to play his games.....so.....HE was very instramental in getting us backonline as soon as we were.   

Since my last update about Tyler, a lot of drama has gone down.  The night I went to say good-bye to my best friend who was moving to California.....I ended up staying longer than I had planned and Tom was upset with me.....and therefore I with him.  If I had had the time, I would have posted a Bitch Board, but we discussed it later on, and I guess I sort of understand WHY he was upset....but it's flimsy.    When I arrived to say good-bye, some of the packing of the truck that had been completed the night before had been UNDONE and the progress I had thought would have been done throughout the day....wasn't.  It was just a bigger job than they thought....and Russ....Jenni's husband....just wasn't doing his share of the work really.  His office was packed up by Jenni and I and I can only imagine the exclamations as he's unpacking everything....LOL!  I was as careful as I could be....but Jenni?  She was a little pissed off.  Anyhow....Tom had apparently been calling me on my cell phone and I had accidentally left it in my car and after he couldn't reach anyone on the house phone either....he got worried.  When I finally discovered I didn't have my cell phone on me and went and got it I found all of his missed calls and called him back.  He gave me much attitude even after I explained accidently leaving it in the car and basically knew if I didn't leave right then....I'd even more hell to pay.  Jenni thought it was pretty ridiculous, as did I since it would probably be the last time to see her for who knows how long....since I really don't fly.

I said a fairly quick good-bye as I promised myself I would - it was bad enough with tears....we didn't need sobbing and I drove away without looking back at my old friend or my old neighborhood.  The days that followed were not good and even though I didn't dwell on Jenni being gone for real this time....I know it must have played it's part in how I dealt with things.

Saturday I slept alot and Tom and the boys spent most of the day together.  Sunday there was yet another Family picnic for Tom's mom's birthday and I just really didn't have the energy to go....I just didn't want to deal with Tyler there, so Tom went by himself reluctantly.  It was his first visit with his family since him and his Dad had their "religion" discussion....did I blog about that?  Anyhow, it was uncomfortable for him, but it turned out ok.  His father acted normally towards him.  Monday was a very bad day.  It started like many mornings do here....in  utter chaos.  Tyler had a 10AM doctor's appointment and from now on....NO MORE MORNING APPOINTMENTS.  Trying to get the boys to cooperate before their meds kick in is virtually impossible.  They are bouncing off the walls and constantly picking at each other.  I think I am sliding into another depression so I am incredibly tired and admittedly short tempered - not to mention in excrutiating pain from a still undiagnosed stomach issue.  It was a perfect storm for something to go wrong and it did.  I called Tom and told him to come home....I couldn't take it anymore....I was leaving.  By the time he got home 5 minutes later, I had half my bags packed.  As he tried to figure out what had pushed me over the edge,  I finished my packing and  tried to explain it was nothing inpaticular....it was just the same old shit I live with everyday and I couldn't live with it ONE MORE MINUTE.  During this time I had become slightly off-balance and at some point picked up a fan and threw it at Tyler.  It thankfully missed him and unfortunately hit my Lab-Newf mix who looked at me in disbelief.  I couldn't believe what I had just done.  I told Tom that I had to leave before I hurt Tyler.  I didn't think I was capable of the patience he required.  Tom was trying to get me to settle down - to try and re-think my decision - to call someone, but all I could think about was getting far away from here.  I finished putting my bags in the car and I picked up 2 of the dogs and put them into the car when my youngest's crying finally broke through the state I was in.  I looked over at him and realized what I was doing.  I came inside and sat down and agreed to wait until Tom's sister could get there.  She arrived in 20 minutes and immediately began mediating.  She has worked with childred for 30 years and took none of Tyler's attitude.  She finished the schedule for him I had started but not finished and implemented the behavior chart and bonus point system we had created.  She stayed for a little while and tutored him and when she left, I felt enough hope to stay.  Tuesday I had a migraine and severe stomach issues and was in bed much of the day....the boys seemed to behave pretty well and I was impressed.  Wednesday I could barely get out of bed and Tyler had 2 doctor's appointments.  Therapist at 11:00AM and Pediatrician  at 2:00PM   I almost broke down into tears walking from the parking lot into the therapist's office building because I didn't think I was going to be able to make it I was so exhausted.  Once in there the therapist noticed how bad I looked and suggested Tom come and pick us up, but I assured her I could make it home.  Once home I had to sleep for the hour we had between appointments.  Once at the pediatricians, I didn't have the energy to even discipline the boys when they acted up in the waiting room.  When the Doctor asked if we were all living in the same household.....she was aware of Tyler's hospital stay as she was partly responsible for his admission......I responded, "Unfortunately".  She had to tell the boys to settle down in the exam room and told me that I needed a break and visit to my Medical Doctor and Psychologist.  She has reminded me that which so many have....if I'm not well....the family won't be able to get well.  I know this is true and I know everyone means well.  I just hate that pressure I guess.  MY well-being is dependant on everybody else's well-being???  Does anybody know how sick I am??  This could take awhile!  Migraines since I was 5, Depression for 12 years, probable endometriosis and something I have to see the gastroentronologist for.  A cyst so large on my liver it's pushing up into my diaphragm.  OH, and let's not forget the debilitating panic attacks!    Yeah, it's going to be awhile before me and thus this family is feeling better.  *sighs*

After we got home from the Pediatrician's office I laid down on the couch and was pretty sure I wasn't getting up again.  Quinton called Tom and raised the red flag which brought him running home  again and that's what got the much needed phone call made to his sister again.  He asked her to come take Tyler for a week to let us have a break.  She took him yesterday, and it was exactly what we all needed.  I immediately got some of my energy back.  Mind you, I'm not celebrating the absence of my son.....but it's a much needed break.  I was finally able to get some bills paid....with the little money I have right now.  I actually was able to go visit with the mother of one of Quinton's friends yesterday afternoon and let her know what's been going on....which helps.  She has vowed to help however she can with Quinton which included keeping him all day yesterday, last night, all day today and possible tonight again even!  She's wonderful.  I am going to go out and mow my "field" for that is basically what you'd call it at this point and that is actually another form of therapy for me.  I am doing better - so hopefully the family's well-being is on it's way.  Monday I'm headed to the doctor.  Thank-you for all of your well-wishes and checking in on all of us.  It means the world to me.  So many caring people out there....it proves that there's still humanity in this scary world we live in and it provides faith for me and so many others who so desperately need it. 

Thank-you

(((HUGS))) 

We were told by Tyler's psychologist, that once upon a time, troubled kids were placed in the hospital for 6 weeks to clear out their systems and reconfigure their meds.....now it takes a couple days.  I guess they must know what they're doing....but all I know is that in Tyler's case....I think he came out more troubled than when he went in.  Besides chewing tobacco that he found in an air vent at the hospital that I caught him with - he has brought home some of the more disturbing characteristics of those with mental illness.....the making weird noises bit and the repeating everything I say thing.  He brought the looney home from the bin.   

 Much more of that stuff and I'm gonna need one of those nifty white suits that help you  to hold yourself together when you can't do it by yourself anymore.........   

 

Yesterday afternoon  - after I brought Tyler home from the hospital.....(checked in at 11:30 PM Monday night - checked out at 11:30 AM Thursday)..... his great attitude lasted all of about an hour.  Since then, he's back to his bad decisions.  I do think he's more aware that he has a serious mental problem....after being removed from the bad situations he got himself into since he's been home....he becomes sincerely reflective about what happened and his part in it.  I am trying to remain calm, cool and collected.  It does help.  After he threatened to kill his brother again yesterday, he only remembered part of what he had said.....and that is indeed disturbing.  I am even more aware of the danger now and I would have to say it really doesn't make me feel 100 percent safe.  We are alarming his door and windows and I guess that will help somewhat at night.  Him having 2 sessions of therapy a week in our home is also hopefully going to help......it better......I'm not too keen on the idea of a stranger being in our home so much, but it is necessary.   

 

And today when Tom comes home from work.....I'm off to say good-bye to my best friend.  The moving truck is loaded and they are headed for California tonight.  I know she needs to go.....but I don't want her to.  I know there will never be a good time for her to go....but right now is so hard.  She's been such a help with Tyler since she works with these sort of kids everyday during the school year and she's known him since he was 2 years old.  Her leaving is not good for anyone in our family.  Tom and the boys said their good-bye's last night which was hard......and tonight....I'll say mine.  I will keep it short.....she knows already how I feel.  It's been a long week.....and I'm ready for it to be over......

 

And DAMMIT....my computer is still not working right!!!!  My Internet connection comes and goes about every 3 minutes and it's really ticking me off!  Chatting is ridiculous.  I'm going to have to get this fixed!!!!!

 

I'm outta here. 

   

My 12 year old son is currently a patient at a  Mental Health Facility.  The road that has led us here has been a rough one to say the least.  I am not going to be able to adequately describe the huge tangle of events that brought us to this point, but I can try to give a  summary of it.  I don't know if it's going to or not, but I write about this in hope that it can help some other family.  I talk about this because I do not want my son's situation tobe misunderstood....I want to be able to help people understand mental illness.  I do not want my son to be labeled crazy and I want him and other children and adults who are suffering with this problem to get the help they need.  It's only crazy when you don't treat - that which can be.  At this point in time, Tyler is having his medications adjusted under very close supervision and it's really the only safe way of doing so.  He is not happy about it, but I think he understands why he is, where he is.  So far, we know that part of Tyler's problems are indeed behavioral and that needs to be addressed, however, until we are dealing with a Tyler that is on the right medications, we can't.  We have to be able to determine that which is behavioral and that which is something he can't help.  Then we can treat that part of his problem with medications and THEN focus more on the behavioral aspects.  This stay at the facility will get his meds corrected and sort out some things that have been driving me insane!  I don't feel that I'm always dealing with the Tyler I used to know, and that has been a huge problem for me.  My Tyler was not always this way and even though I may never know what caused these problem s- at least I will know who or what I AM dealing with now and hopefully find ways to help him which in turn will help everyone around him.  

 

Until tomorrow.....

 

*Have to wrap things up for now....I am suffering from inadequate sleep and I must get some rest   Please know even though I may not be able to get back with all of you who have left comments right now....I intend to and know that just your stop by has been  greatly appreciated.  It's one of the things that helps me get through that which I didn't think I could.  .....so.....Thank-you.

 

 

We  got home last night at midnight....which might tell you how the weekend away went.  No need to worry about the big family picnic today....since we didn't even get that far before things went horribly wrong..  My son's behavior was so embarassing to my husband that at 9:30 last night, he told me to take my shower (I was dirty from working on the patio at his sisters) - he'd take his shower and then we were packing up and leaving for home.  I barely got my hair dry before we were uncomfortably saying good-bye through tears....to everyone that was there and had just witnessed the things we have been dealing with every day for almost 6 months now.  We are broken.....very very broken.  I can't write anymore right now, I have lots of laundry to do, a lawn to mow, a dinner to get around and some sort of Father's Day gift to get around for Tom.  I won't be able to make it up to my mom and step-fathers today to give him his card and gift and he's leaving town for 2 weeks tomorrow morning.  I dare not call my dad to wish him a happy Father's day because then he'd ask about Tyler and I'd break down and ruin whatever day he was having....and his life is already too hard.  Instead, I'll do what I can do today and just try and get through until tomorrow....like every other day in this nightmare.

Today Tyler had an appointment with his Pediatrician , and as she's done so many times in the past, she's given us hope and help.  She had to fill out forms for the initial evaluation the school is doing and therefore I had to bring her up to date on everything that has happened in the past couple of months - and it was a very hellish couple of months.  We didn't get very far into the appointment when Quinton filled the doctor in on Tyler's latest interest....playing with fire.  The doctor looked at me and asked if this was occurring and I told her yes, several times now.  He has been throwing things at me, hitting me and has done things like  pretending like he was going to spray household cleaner in my face when he gets really mad.  He does hit and push his brother down and the way he talks and the things he says does scare me sometimes.  When she asked if I was afraid he might hurt himself or someone else, I had to pause a moment, but eventually agreed that yes, I was.    She asked if he ever cuts himself....I had seen marks on his arm, near his wrist, but he claimed that they were from the cat.  I had to tell her that I had found several razor blades in his room that he claimed he was just using to cut paper....that he needed them to just cut paper very exactly for things he was making.....    I told her that we were still on a waiting list to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist within the Children's Hospital network where his therapist is now, but until we were able to get in there I really wanted to get him off of one of the medications he was currently taking.  I am concerned that they may be exacerbating his condition.  She didn't agree or disagree about the medication, but instead told me that she would make some phone calls to get him seen ASAP and was going to suggest he be admitted and have his meds adjusted as an in-patient.  I was a little taken aback by that, but relieved at the same time.  I don't know how many more days can be spent as we are spending them.  This really isn't living for any of us.  It's just existing and we're doing that barely.  I am afraid of what each day will bring.  I am aftaid that we have to go out of town this weekend and I don't know what to expect from him at my husband's sister and brother-in-laws house.  It shouldn't be this way.  He used to be afraid of acting out in front of other's, but not so anymore.  On Sunday, my husband's whole family will be getting together for a picnic to celebrate Father's Day and Tom's mom's birthday and it's this day that concerns me the most.  Instead of it being the laid back relaxing fun day it usually is....it will be me being on constant watch to hopefully diffuse any incident that may arise.  Ahhh....I can't wait!!!!!!!!!       

Today's show made me light-headed, sick to my stomach, weak-kneed and made my scalp get that electrocuted feeling.  It scared me because it hit way too close to home.  It was about children who are capable of the unthinkable.....killing.  My son has exhibited many of the characteristics of these children.  He has impulse control problems, anger management problems and empathy problems - all major issues when linked together.  He is only 12 and as he gets older, if we don't get a handle on this, we are going to be in some major trouble.  He has threatened me and his brother in the past and at one time, I had wondered if he might be capable of hurting us, but the actual threats have really calmed down, but he still refers to what life will be like when we're dead.  Mind you, I don't believe my child is evil, but I do believe he is not wired properly and we have not yet got the right combination of medications or the right type of therapy nailed down yet, but we had better and soon.  We are doing all we can.  We are being told by family members, school personnel, doctors, therapists and even law enforcement that we are doing the right things.  The only thing that has been suggested that we CAN'T do is sell our house and move to another school district - that the one we are in is not the greatest - but with the housing market and our finances.....it's just not possible.  I personally think it would help, but it's not the problem.  I think we'd find that his behavior would be the same wherever we went.  I truly hope that this IEP they're putting him on for this next school year will help with the educational aspect, but at home, we still have to find something that works because what we're doing now is not.

I titled this post "Shouldn't of watched Dr. Phil today", but in my heart I know I was meant to see it.  Every once in awhile, my eyes have to be re-opened to the reality of what could be.  Living with this sort of child, you start to just live day to day.  Getting through this day is all you consider and you lose sight of the future ever-looming.  I almost don't see a future for our family anymore like I used to.  It's all so up in the air.  Anyhow, today's show was a kick in the butt for me to get the lead out and start refocusing on the future and how we are going to get this turned around.  Maybe I'll even ask Dr. Phil....... 

I am convinced that without the web - I'd be lost.  Just being without it for a few days I was going crazy.  I couldn't check my e-mail, my blog, my checking account, pay bills, look up a recipe, find out how much a dog grooming table would cost on E-bay that my Mom wanted to buy for me, look up an address and directions for an appointment I had, send e-mails to the boys teachers to tell them thank-you for this year, find out what time the pool opened, find out who sang a song I heard on the radio and several other things.  It's crazy how many things I use the internet for.  The main computer that we ran the router through is still out of commision and until we get it fixed, we're running the connection directly through our laptops.    That means when Tom's home, we have to "share" and since the boys are home because school is out and Tyler will be off his grounding (finally) in a few days....they'll be wanting to borrow my laptop as well.  I'm very glad we instituted a computer, video game and TV limit for the summer time.    Anyhow, that's where I've been....lord knows I've needed to vent a few times over the past couple days and not being able to was incredibly frustrating.   

Tyler's expulsion hearing was a little over 3 hours ago - at 8AM this morning....and I'm not a morning person.....

I slept very little last night as I spent most of the night going over and over in the dark, how I was going to explain to a room full of people, why my child should NOT be expelled for his actions.  As we arrived at the Board of Education building I felt an incredible feeling of embarassment and quickly shoved it away and replaced it with determination to get my son help.  Help turned out to be -   only steps away.  Mr. Beck - the Hearing Officer - was a gift from God - the answer to my prayers.  I was able to calm the "shakes" moments after entering the building where the door was opened for me by Tyler's principal, Mr. Lanning with a warm greeting.  Mr. Beck told me to "relax, everything is going to be alright" as he ushered us down the hall and into a meeting room.  He told us right away that he did not intend to expel Tyler but explained in great detail why.  He did not make light of what Tyler did by any means, but took into account the fact that he wasn't the one discovered with the toy gun but was honest when asked if he WAS the one that had brought it to school that day.  He agreed the 10 day suspension was a sufficient consequence considering it would take him through the end of the year and he'd be missing out on all of the fun that goes on then.  He did however add some notations to Tyler's ridiculously large file.  He has to maintain a C grade level in all of his classes next year and he can't find himself back in front of him again or it will be a no-questions-asked-expulsion.  What Tyler didn't hear - because he was sent out of the room for awhile - is that he is also going to be tested for an Individualized Learning program that will assist him greatly if he qualifies.  Mr. Beck apparently has a background in the field of Behavioral Health and believes Tyler will.  For the first time in a long time, I feel there is hope for him acedemically.  I am refreshed and renewed in mind and spirit......and I am VERY thankful. 

The officer explained to me that he was going to go over to Tyler and explain to him what I was going to do.  He told me not to worry.  Tyler would not be taken away from me - which was an immediate concern.  He assured me that this was simply a way to let the child know that since he refuses to follow our rules that now he would have to follow the county's rules, because we had done all we could with him at home - at that level, and that was not working.

 

He went over to Tyler who was still in the car, and in front of the outdoor class in session (I think this had a very poiniant effect on each and every one of them as well) the officer firmly and with a voice that carried explained to Tyler exactly what I was going to do.  I was going to drive him to downtown  Columbus to the Franklin County Court House, we'd be going through the main lobby metal detectors and up to the 4th. floor where his mother would be going in front of a judge and filing charges against him for being an unruly or disobediant child.  He then explained that the judge would confer with me as to what rules we expected him to follow, he would then make sure Tyler understood them and send him home.  At a later court date, his parents would go before the judge again and let him know if he had indeed been following the rules or not, at what time he would decide the outcome and he cited a few examples of what could happen if he had not been following the agreed upon rules.  For the most part, the officer held Tyler's attention, but when he lost it, he sternly reminded him to "look at me please".  If I had been Tyler, I would have been terrified.  Tyler however, was just Tyler.  Not much shakes him.  In fact, the only time Tyler really get shaken is when someone around him that he cares for gets seriously wounded.  His dad putting his arm through a glass window about sent him over the edge. 

Anyhow, I did exactly as the officer had said I would.  It was indeed the hardest thing I have ever done.  I cried the whole way there, I cried as we waited in the wating area in front of strangers and I cried as I relayed my reasons for being there to the assesment lady.  Tyler said little in the car on the way, but of course blamed the other kid for getting caught with the gun, played with his miniature Tech Deck skateboards on the floor in the waiting room and acted sorry but unemotional in the assesment lady's office.  She was a down to earth veteran of the department and had seen one too many Tyler's.  She talked straight and stern with him.  Even joking with him and agreeing with him a few times.  Then she laid it all out.  She didn't sugar coat anything and then she gave him and me an "out".  She asked me if we were going to actually charge him today or just keep the papers on file and see if Tyler can take this last chance we were willing to give him.  I gave him the chance.  He has already broke a rule and it's just 2 days later.  All we would have to do is make a phone call and go down and sign the papers and the charges will be officially filed.  I am afraid that this boy of mine, that insists on pushing the limit, will indeed push this one as all the others.  I am afraid his father and I will have to be the ones to teach him one of life's hardest lessons.  We are his parents and nobody ever said parenting was easy.   Unless the unimaginable happens - we would not take further steps without first discussing it with his therapist and physician, but for the love of our son.....I think we will do whatever is necessary.

 

I still have a blog coming that will explain more about how we could of possible got to this point in the first place.

Yesterday morning started badly with me getting my youngest to school 10 minutes late.  Grocery shopping wasn't too bad and I had just gotten almost everything put away when the phone call came.  I saw the familiar School's number on caller I.D. and just knew....

 

It was Mr. Lanning - my oldest son's Principal.  I have heard from him at least 6 times this school year - one time for each time he has been suspended.  There were 11 days left in the school year.  He just got a 10 day suspension  - with an expulsion hearing thes coming Thursday the 29th.  I will have to go clean out his locker - because he is not permitted on school grounds the remainder of the school year - and perhaps never again.  You want to think it can't get much worse....but it always can, and deep down, you know it will.....and it has.

 

He took a 3 inch toy gun to school.  It was not something WE got for him btw - he originally obtained it from some kid at his school a couple months ago - we knew he had it and it came up "missing".  I had been collecting all of the things from him that could get him into trouble - BB guns, sling shot, pocket knives, that stupid little gun, etc., and he had just been told the day before he had taken it to school that when it was found....I wanted it.  I was particularly upset over this whole incident because of this.  He absolutely knew the rules of the school and he knew he wasn't supposed to have it in the first place.  He had taken the gun to school to trade another boy for his skateboard.  I wanted to wring his neck.  The other boy was caught with the gun, and so he got into trouble too.  I immediately called Tom at work and ruined yet another of his days at what is already a stressful time at work for him.   He wanted me to call the police officer we'd been given the name of who was supposed to meet with Tyler at school any day now (too late now) and ask him to meet me at the school and give Tyler a good talking to....a "scare".  I did, but he was not available.  When I called the other number I had been given, I was told they did not "Do that sort of thing".  The school told me they figured that was what they would say.  ARE YOU FLIPPIN' KIDDING ME?!!!    I was not happy.  I drove over and picked him up.  I did not speak a single word to him - for fear of what would come out of my mouth.   I removed the earring from his ear....he had pierced his own ear about a month and a half ago without permission and instead of coming down like a hammer on him, we realized he had done it to try and fit in and we allowed him to keep it pierced BUT demanded the gawdy fake diamond be replaced with a little silver gheko I helped him pick out.  I marched him out of the school, in front of an outdoor class in session and into the car.  I had backed out of my parking space and was pulling out of the parking lot when I saw a police cruiser pulling into the lot.  They often drive around the schools patroling the area.  I put my car in reverse and pulled back into my space and jumped out of my car with the car still running and was able to get the officer to stop as he was passing.  I put my heart on my sleeve I guess you'd say.  I started with....I was wondering if you could please help me.....(tears flowing but without any of that ugly face thing....the kind of tears you have absolutely no control over).....my son is getting into a lot of trouble - he was just recommended for explusion - I am afraid I am losing him and I don't know what to do!  (ok...now the ugly face started to creep up but the officerquickly reassured me.)  When I was pretty sure he was going to tell me he wasn't permitted to "do that sort of thing" - he said, "I've got kids of my own....let me sign out here and you can tell me what's been going on and we'll see what we can do".  This huge weight lifted .  I quickly went over Tyler's history and the officer told me if this was his son, he'd file charges against him.   I'd never heard of such a thing, but he briefly explained how a parent can file charges against their own children for unruly behavior and violating the rules of your home.  If the child continues to violate the rules....they then can step in and take further steps to get them in line.  Ankle bracelets - if the child is continually running away, Juvenile detention, Special schools with work and therapy programs, Foster home placemet, etc..  He explained by doing this, we are taking responsibility for our child who is barreling down the wrong road and hopefully stop him while he's still young enough to catch.  I know this might seem extreme - but you don't know the whole story.  I have been leary to blog here about it, but I have decided.  Maybe this can help some other parent or child.  Our lives are being consumed and destroyed by this.  I pray we find our way and I can only do what I think to be the best after taking in all of the information.  Hopefully there is someone out there that will learn from our mistakes, accomplishments or be comforted by sharing a mutual pain.  In future blogs I will explain how I was able to drive my 12 year old son to the Franklin County courthouse in downtown Columbus and file the paperwork necessary to press charges against him.