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August 31 Headed to the Lake for one last Hoorah of the summerWe decided to head up to the Lake for the Labor Day weekend. Tom really needed some time off, I'm finally feeling better (although recently had a few pains in that same spot with a couple headaches  ), and the kids were so disappointed we didn't get our full week up there that we figured we'd better at least get them up there one last time for the summer. It will be a very economical trip....no Cedar Point or Go Karting, no Movie nights or Safari trips, no trips over to Put-In-Bay on the Jet Express or taking the Jet-Ski over to Kelley's Island, just us on the beach.....and that's ok with me! My parents are having a small family cookout Saturday at their place and Tom's parents are only coming up for the day on Saturday, so we'll have a quiet relaxing break . We'll be back on Monday. I'll see you all then. I hope everyone has a safe relaxing break as well.....Bye!
*Our families places are on Gem Beach on Catawba Island. August 30 The first day of freedom...er...I mean school *grins*This, that and the other: The day we've been preparing for the past couple weeks is coming to an end. Besides the fact that my 6 year old was put onto the wrong bus home and had to ride around on it for an hour and 15 minutes in stifling heat - it was pretty uneventful.
With money being so tight right now, buying school supplies and clothes this year, I really took note of how much things cost. It seems I'm spending more and more money every year and I gotta wonder.....Why does my son need to have 5 LARGE GLUE STICKS? At $1.69 each - that's $8.45 in GLUE STICKS alone! My God! I expect to see some heavy duty craft projects coming home. Then there's the backpacks! I went to K-Mart because I had seen what a big selection they had and I was expecting to get them at a decent price. $24.99 each. 2 boys = $50 in just backpacks. I kid you not - the cashier at K-Mart asked me if I wanted to purchase a 1 year replacement warranty on them! It caught me off guard...and I said "Excuse me?" and she repeated it. I laughed and said that they were expensive enough to offer a warranty on, but no thank-you. However, I told her if anything went wrong with them in the next 30 days, I would be bringing them back. The lady behind me offered up that for that price, the warranty should be included. I'm just wondering how large famalies pull this off every year! You also don't just buy supplies anymore...you buy dry erase markers for the teachers to use, tissues for the class to wipe their noses, baggies to....bag up their stuff I guess, and sanitizer to .....sanitize. What's next? Toilet paper to wipe their butts?
A thought for thought: Don't get me wrong...I have 2 sister-in-laws, a brother-in-law and a neice that are all teachers and I know these are expenses that come out of their pockets - and they are poorly paid. The system itself needs to be changed. The teachers need to be compensated for their important roles in our children's lives. I just think when they send home that form for reduced lunches and they ask for your income.....you should be able to enter the amount AFTER you've purchased school supplies. August 28 What A Wonderful World (shadow-hands)If you haven't seen it, you've got to and if you HAVE seen it....it's worth watching again!
BTW - If your volume is turned down....TURN IT UP! Enjoy.
(You can watch below, but it's MUCH better if you watch it HERE - make sure you hit the magnifying glass in the upper left hand corner to make it FULL SIZE
 )The words .....for you Sassene.....
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you And I think to myself what a wonderful world. I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I think to myself what a wonderful world. The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do They're really saying I love you. I hear babies crying, I watch them grow They'll learn much more than I'll never know And I think to myself what a wonderful world Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world This is light slow moving melody sung by a gentleman with a deep husky voice - one of my favorites. It's one of my wishes that someday medical science will be able to reverse the damge done to your hearing so you can hear this and so many other things I would love to share with you.
After publishing my first video here on Spaces and watching it on my blog, I was very disappointed.
I think it was a combination of several things. It slowed down a bit from the speed on the e-mail version - so you don't enjoy the synchronizing of the shadow and the music, you can't put it in full screen mode here and watching it on such a small scale sucks, and the quality seems to have suffered in the transition from the host site to here. Wondering if this is a common thing, my host site not good or some other thing.....anyone?
I'd be glad to send this to you via e-mail, just let me know thru private message and I'd be happy to forward it. August 25 And just like that....it's all goneI was chatting with Stephen today and he asked if the recent flooding ha August 23 Some Fur Tales When I was sick this summer and before I knew what was wrong with me, I was really stressed out. I had called my dad and asked him to take the boys for a week so I could get my self together and get some rest. The night before the boys were to leave, we were coming home from a dinner out with the boys and we passed what we thought was a dead kitten on the road. My oldest swore he saw it move, so we backed up and sure enough in the headlights of the truck, it slowly raised it's head and turned in our direction. I jumped out and picked up the pathetically thin, weak, dirty, flea-infested kitten, and after a quick inspection, it didn't appear to have any injuries. It appeared to have just either crawled up onto the edge of the road, or been left th Since his full recovery, he has been accepted well into the family, especially by the Shih-tzus. My oldest male, the daddy of the youngest two has taken a real liking to Cotton and vice-versa. Cotton has even attempted to nurse from him....a bit confused on a couple counts. *smile* My 2 youngest Shih-tzus have gotten into a bad habit of perching themselves on an interior window ledge that serves as an opening between my kitchen and breezeway. They access it from a futon in the breezeway and sit up on the ledge and watch me do dishes. When nobody is looking they occasionally jump through the window and gain access Bad dogs aren't the only bad critters we have. There are a few cats that believe they can be wherever they want to be - but that's pretty much so a "cat" thing. August 22 Muppet confusionMy 6 yr. old son obviously did not grow up with the muppets as I did. We were watching America's Got Talent finale show last night which had a guest appearance by Kermit the Frog. Quinton ran into the room and exclaimed....Hermit the Crab! My husband and I laughed and corrected him and he stubbornly refused to see the obvious. (frog - crab - no similarites whatsoever) He ran out of the room yelling HERMIT THE CRAB!!!!.....Sorry Kermit....he's not the brightest bulb. Friends are what happiness is made of....According to an article from BEST LIFE by Sara Wells, (who got her information from Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, Ph.D., author of Stumbling on Happiness) "We often mispredict our happiness, because our brains change the way we view things once they happen." Huh? I had to think on that awhile. The example used was that of someone they know dying or after getting divorced, and not being as unhappy about it as they thought they would be.
Daniel Gilbert believes that people are happiest when they are among other people who they like and who like them. I would have to agree with that.
When it comes to money and happiness he has a unique viewpoint. He claims that while making the jump in salary from $40,000 to $70,000 will probably make you very happy, the jump from $70,000 to $150,000 often won't. He claims, "The time you spend trying to earn money that won't make you any happier is time taken away from doing things that will increase your happiness." And now, it makes more sense to me. While we're trying to keep up with the Joneses - or just wanting to have the latest new electronic dewhickey (sp?), we have to work longer hours at more stressful jobs to make that higher salary and what we're trading it in for, is happiness, because you can't buy friends you like to be around that like to be around you - even though many have tried.
So, if you think you are different and that this does not apply to you, (i.e. making more money will make you happier) the Harvard psychologist has this to say, "We believe we're unique and that other people's experiences aren't relevant. That belief is wrong. People are remarkably similar. If someone had a really good time at, say, a Montana dude ranch, the odds are you will, too."
Where I got it: http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=808297>1=10321
Read the entire article yourself, it'll probably make more sense....*smile*
August 20 The Top 10 Colleges in the USSaw this on MSN today.
Every year, The Princeton Review surveys 120,000 college students, ranking American colleges, and these are their "Top 10" categories - http://spotlight.encarta.msn.com/Features/encnet_departments_college_default_page_Rankings.html?GT1=10289
-Probably not a good choice for Tyler.....
-it WAS at least until Quinton shows up with his spray paint
-again, it WAS until the Kuhn boys enrolled
-this has Quinton written all over it
-as long as Quinton has taken his meds, he'll fit right in
-thinking they'll both need this
-Ummm, thinking one of these are one of the colleges my son's will attend
- just sounds too......political
- this is all they've known
August 17 No more Ice Road Truckers - pleeeeassssse......My husband watches a few shows that he claims are "my" shows and that he hates them - but he watches them with me nonetheless and if you ask me, he appears to me, to be entertained. THEN, there are what I refer to as "his" shows, that I watch and while they are definately not shows I would have watched on my own - I don't hate them......except for......Ice Road Truckers. I've sat through Deadliest Catch and the follow-up lobster version, some custom motorcycle building show, Junkyard Wars, Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, Survivor Man, many episodes of Mega-fill-in-the-blank, but OMG, Ice Road Truckers.....where almost the entire show takes place in the cab of a semi truck....I've had enough. Let me know when a truck finally falls through the ice....that's the episode I want to see! ***aaaahhhhhh!!!!!***
August 16 Life changesThis, that and the other: Well I was to my ENT again yesterday and with my continued recovery from the sinus infections and reduced amount of pain and frequency of the headaches, I was sent home to continue on the antibiotics and nasal spray (going on 5 weeks now) and not to return now for 2 weeks. The doc is pretty hopeful now that this will all pass without the need for any surgery and I am incredibly relieved. I have been having some migraines - but those have been related to my neck being out of place and a trip to the chiropractor yesterday too should help with those.
Since I'm feeling better and school starting in two weeks, I was focusing on getting a job to help catch up on bills. Money has been tight to say the least with all of our medical bills and our new insurance plan that costs more and covers less of course. Just the other day when we picked up my migraine meds I had to call the pharmacy thinking that they had made a mistake. I had only received 4 tablets when I normally got 9. The pharmacy looked into it for me and called back saying that's all the insurance will pay for at a time now - and yet I'm paying the same as I did for the 9. I despise the insurance industry. Aaannyyyhooowww....I was going to apply for a job at the gas station up the road that was hiring - they had an opening for a cashier for the hours I was looking for, but when I came home and told Tom about it, he told me he had already got me a job with his company. It's much better - since I can make up my own hours and it will be much safer. I'll start once both boys are in school and I'm looking forward to it. Tom's boss has a strict policy about spouse's working at the company - it's not allowed, but for some reason has made an acception. I'm assuming it's because I'm not an official employee - more like a sub-contractor and I won't be working at the facility site. I'll be all over town - which I love.
With starting work in 2 weeks, I want to get some painting done. I went out and got 2 different sized canvas yesterday and plan on starting painting this weekend. *yay*
Things are not going so good for my sister right now, so I'll probably go visit her this weekend as well. She broke up with her boyfriend a couple days ago and he's not taking it so well. They were together for 5 years and he had bought a ring and was going to propose to her and when she found out - she sort of freaked out I think. He's a really good guy, but I think she may have fallen for him as I did with my first love - out of friendship first - which may or may not be a good thing. It is good indeed to be good friends with your lover, but sometimes, I think it may be important for the attraction part to come first instead of "out of" the friendship. I know there are acceptions to this and that many a wonderful relationship has blossomed from this type of love - but it just hasn't for her and he is having a very difficult time accepting this. My mom is upset he might do something crazy - whether it be to himself or her - and has her worried now too. I don't think he is the type, but who really knows anybody these days. She is changing her locks on her apartment since he has a key and hasn't been staying at her own place since the break-up. He has said some things that have concerned them both, but everybody does that when they're upset. He just needs some time to get through this - to process it all. A broken heart is a horrible thing, but it is part of life and it is part of growing. I just pray the healing starts soon and the moving on process starts to take place as soon as possible. My mom wants me to call and talk to him, but I don't feel comfortable doing that just yet - thinking I will let things settle a little while longer.
A thought for thought: Life is always changing. There are the days of ups and days of downs - many times outnumbering those of the ups. There are the days of just passing - perhaps neither up or down, just hum-drum. Regardless of how you catergorize them, they are filed under Life and they pass by nonetheless. As you grow older, they pass by faster. Grasp each one, learn a lesson from each and cherish it, for we know not which will be our last or the last of one that we love. Always remembering that Life is always changing and tomorrow could be the best day we've ever had. Only God knows. August 13 I used to be a tour guide....I grew up in Mansfield Ohio. When I was in 2nd grade my Mom moved into an apartment across the street from Kingwood Center. As soon as she'd allow me to start wandering around by myself - I was probably 8 or 9 I suppose, I discovered the wonderful world of Kingwood. With 47 acres to explore and a huge mansion open to the public, I always had something to do. It was then I became a tour guide. *smile* It was a great gig. I set my own hours. I always had customers....imaginary of course....they never minded when I flubbed a line and never questioned any fact that I had totally made up out of thin air. The pay was pretty pathetic, but I wasn't in it for the money. *smile* Before long, I knew the history of Kingwood Center probably as well or better than any "paid" worker - by watching a film in the media room of the mansion that was there for visitors to watch. It was a self start movie reel and I thought I might wear it out I watched it so much - knew it almost word for word. My tours would usually start in the mansion - and proceed to the gardens outside. In the gardens I would point out the flowers, the statuary and fountains. From the gardens we'd go to the greenhouse, then the duck pond and finish with a walk through the nature trail where I'd point out all sorts of interesting things. It was on occasion I'd come across the visitor who must of been observing my antics and would start questioning me....it was in these moments I was in my element. I did not shy away and let them in on my secret....I just let them join my tour group. They were wonderful players in my fantasy. I wonder if they realize how much joy that brought me? When I grew tired of playing fantasy games, there was always the forbidden zones of Kingwood to investigate. There were rooms of the mansion roped off to visitors that I'd sneak into. Buildings that weren't meant to be entered into that I'd occasionally find unlocked and yes, enter. *smile* Pens behind the fish pond that housed the fledgling fowl that I'd sneak into and hold a duckling or two. On super hot days, I'd even wade around in the fountains. The place I probably spent the most time though, and even showed to several friends, was the ravine behind Kingwood that was fenced off to the public. Past the fence, there was a very steep hill that led down to a creek. We'd scale down the hill and swim in the creek. There was a train tressel that ran overhead, and we'd jump off the bridge into the not-so-deep creek when trains were approaching. Of course, all this stuff I'd string by boys up by their toenails for if I'd find out they had been doing. *grins* Do as I SAY, and not as I DO, I believe is how the saying goes..... August 11 An Old WomanI came across this poem on Sandra's space http://sanddeemc.spaces.live.com/ . It touched me as it touched her - each for our own reasons. May it touch you as well.
August 10 My glorified "TO-DO" listFigure out how to hook my camera up to my laptop GOT ER' DONE! *note all the new pics! *wink*
Groom dogs more
Work on Quinton's sight words GOT ER' DONE! and still working on....he needs LOTS of work
Start walking dogs more
Repot some plants
Sort through piles of paperwork - This is gonna wait until winter
Move some furniture around in the basement, bring some upstairs - This is gonna wait until winter
Get the boys ready for school GOT ER' DONE!
Mow the ravine ;p GOT ER' DONE!
Go through all my old baby stuff - gotta do this before FRIDAY!!!! *My 2nd cousin is having a baby and is in desperate need of anything I can come up with - fast - baby is due in September. Do some of the blogs from my Blog-to-do list *See my module if you want, and let me know if any peak your interest...... Clean out my closet *Get Tom to fix the light in there so I can SEE to do it.....which has been my excuse for not doing it the last few years
more to come.....I know you wait with baited breath........ I'm going to start painting again.....This, that and the other: I've set some new goals for myself recently as I started to get some relief from this sinus thing. Maybe I'll talk about what those are later. Actually, I think I'll make a new category all together that will just be my goals. Anyhow, that's when I knew I was almost out of this God-awful-long depression period. The longer I have suffered with this, the more "aware" of it I become. Used to be I'd just wake up one day and be extremely sad and start to think about when my last good day had been, and it went back too far. I'd realize I had slipped into another period of depression. NOW, I notice signs I'm headed into the tunnel and signs I'm coming back out. I am starting to think, that knowing the signs - (how sad is it - that it took me living with it for 10 years to learn? *sigh*) is going to be my way to start beating this thing. I'm too tired to think much about it now, but I just can't sit back and wait for these pills to cure me. They might help get me through my days - and help in that way, but, I think I always expected to be cured and then was surprised when I was back in a funk. Now I know, or "understand" that it doesn't work that way. Probably should have been in therapy longer - more consistantly - and they would have helped me get to this a long time ago, but when money is tight or time is short - it's an easy thing to put aside - not to mention in the deepest of dark days you don't want to go anywhere - see anyone. I had to learn this way - and for me....it's always the hard way. Anyhow, just the fact that I'm planning for the future....thus the new goals.....I know I'm almost over it. I believe as soon as I am over this illness, I'll be back to who I consider to be "me".
A thought for thought: I believe this is truly a sign that my depression has ended for now. You lose the desire, to do things you love, while in the midst of it and now I can't wait to start on that fresh clean canvas again! It feels good to be back. August 08 My kids are the ones, you don't want yours to play withHappy Anniversary to us. I will start by saying this, being their Mother, I have to take responsibility for how my children are turning out and it is not good. God help me. We are making changes to this family and it is happening NOW. I cannot handle another phone call like the one I got tonight.
It's from my 6 year old son's, best friend's mom. (His little friend called here this morning and wanted to come over and play - so Tom picked him up at lunch time and he had been here all day - and it was a very lonnngggg day as Quinton was in a foul mood AND Tyler had a friend spend the night last night and so he was here all day long as well AND I've been sick) His mother starts out with, "Heidi, if this was anyone else, I wouldn't say anything, but this just has me floored coming from Quinton." I was scared to death to ask what. I didn't have to ask though.....she went on, just as uncomfortable with the situation as I had become. My son, it turns out, referred to his friend with the foulest of words - the N word - several times. I could have just died. She was extremely kind about it and assured me that she knew we didn't talk like that, but thought I should know and would probably want to find out where he had heard the word and find out if he even knew what it meant. I was in shock - could only apologize and tell her how embarassed I was and told her I would definately find out where he had picked it up from and explain to him why he had better never use it again. I knew where he had heard it before though - he learns a whole lotta bad from his older brother, but we've already been there and done that with him on this particular matter, so I was very interested in finding out why the term had resurfaced. After questioning Quinton, he admitted to calling his friend the name because he was mad at him, knew it was bad and thought it meant a black person. We sat him down and went over the whole name-calling jag and then proceded with why you especially don't call a person a name such as this, how hurtful it is and why. Tomorrow we will sit down and write an apology note to his friend and his friend's mother - who I explained he had hurt more than anyone else since his friend had gone home and asked his mom WHY Quinton had called him that - that his friend didn't even understand the word! This made it all the more horrible because (as she explained to me for the first time - I had never asked about the situation before) he had never met his father (who was black - she is white) because he took off when he was born and she was already going through a hard time trying to explain to him why there was a difference between him and her and now this whole horrible reference to race was thrown at him. I wanted to crawl under a rock. Unfortunately as a mother, we are not allowed to do that. We have to face the problem and wait for the next one - and KNOW with absolute certainty that THERE WILL BE A NEXT ONE. I can only hope and pray that we handle this properly so it doesn't happen again and work to be better parents to hopefully turn these kids around.
My oldest one we drug home from his friends house and interrogated. He assured us, with eyes of honesty that I haven't seen in awhile, (I've missed them,) that he would not use that word and it was confirmed by Quinton's friend that Quinton was the only one to have said it. With all the problems that we've had with this one lately, I was relieved to know he hadn't been part of this directly and made sure he knew we were proud of him. As for where Quinton picked it up, he claims other black kids. We live in a very diverse neighborhood. Regardless of where he got it or in what text it was used, I think he now understands how hurtful it is and now it's just a matter of getting him to control that little temper of his so that he doesn't suse it again.
Not to excuse his behavior, but his father and I have mentioned to his doctor that we thought his bi-polar med needed to be adjusted as his temper has been getting increasingly out of control lately. We'll have to re-address it before school starts and that is in only about 3 weeks - better schedule the appointment tomorrow as I'm sure they're starting to get booked.
 August 07 A sigh of relief....kindaOn Thursday I had a special CT scan that would map out the surgery to drain my sinusis. Friday and Saturday I had more energy than I've had in awhile and could tell the medicine was working. Sunday I woke up however and was drained again and had a really bad headache. Tyler was also sick though, so I'm thinking maybe it was not sinus infection related and that maybe we just picked something up....? I am aware that Prednisone will leave you more succeptible to things. I have been on this poweful antibiotic - but of course that would only be useful against bacterial bugs not viral. Anyhow, at yesterdays visit to my ENT he looked at the CT scan from Thursday and it showed that the medicine is indeed working. My frontal sinus is almost completely cleared up and the sinus behind my eye is starting to clear up. That means the surgery for now can be put on hold to see if the medication can clear up the remaining infection - and more importantly to me - stop the pain. No surgery for now is definately a relief - but I do wonder why I still had so much pain yesterday in my forehead when that particular sinus had supposedly cleared up so much.....makes me wonder more about the tumor causing the pain and not just the infection causing it.?????? I guess we'll just have to wait and see - and that does leave me annoyed a little I guess. All this waiting and seeing - is painful!!!
BTW, today is Tom and I's 14th Anniversary - I was thinking the other day that we are now the "old married couple" in our circle of friends (due to divorces )- yippee! |
A few days later, Cotton as I started to call him, was able to walk, but could only go left- so he'd turn circles alot - always going left. Tom called him Nascar. Then he started having seizures. I thought for sure I was going to have to put him down. I continued to feed him and got him bathed and on flea meds, but spending money on more vet bills was just out of the question with us so much mired in medical bill already. The shelters were packed full of kittens and so I just tended to him as best I could. Needless to say my week of rest was not turning out the way I had planned. Nursing a sick kitten back to health and trying to keep away the 6 very jealous dogs was pretty time consuming. *sigh* Right about the time we went to pick up the boys, Cotton, who by now was sort of gonna live with us, *surprise!* was a normal 7-8 week old kitten who could walk straight with the best of em' and is seizure free. 
Tyler can't make a choice to save his life - so this year....I"M PICKING IT OUT. He can pick out his backpack and will be fine with that. 
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