I have often commented that I blog for therapy - and I do.  It brings me a certain amount of relief from stress.  When something bothers me....my husband or children usually, I write about it and it doesn't seem so bad anymore.  When I feel there is a message I want to get out, I blog about it and I feel I've done some good.  When I feel really good and I want to share that feeling, I blog about it and hope that it might bring a smile to someone else, too.  When I'm sad and don't want to feel lonely, or maybe can't talk to anyone close to me, for some really odd reason, I can tell the world - and I don't feel so alone and lost anymore.  In the past few years, it has been my life preserver during my bouts with depression that I've struggled with now, for 11 years. 

The thing is, I have come to a point where I need to progress with my therapy.  There have been attempts by me in the past to write about my past and I was going to do it in the form of a biography.  I got started and when it got to divulging not so pretty things about family members, I decided I wasn't ready to put that out for the public to read....and I'm still not.  Another issue I wrestled with, was talking about the "religion" I was raised under.  My mom and dad - both sides of the family - are devout Jehovah's Witnesses.  They are considered by many to be a cult.  Truth is, they are really good people with a warped sense of living in todays world.  I believe everyone has a right to practice whatever religion they want, as long as they aren't impeding on anybody else's right's to do the same and as long as the aren't hurting anyone in the process.

Anyhow, today I came across an article that sparked something in me.  One of the issues that I was so reluctant to talk about - my upbringing as a Jehovah's Witness - I am going to blog about.  I KNOW this is gonna cause problems.  The fact that I know this and am going to do it anyhow is a huge step for me.  It's sort of like looking into a big dark scary cave and hearing something rustling around inside....and going in anyhow.  Jehovah's Witnesses are a VERY tight knit group of people.  They despise former Witnesses talking negatively (even when it's the God's honest truth) about them.  If one of them comes across this post - and yes they surf for stuff like this - it will get passed on to my family.  I don't know for sure what the outcome will be, but I KNOW it will cause problems.  Dealing with those problems will be the therapy I NEED right now.  Those doors need to be opened and aired out....finally.

This is the article that created the spark.....Boy dies after refusing transfusion over religion

Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in having blood transfusions.  This is one of MANY issues I have a problem with.  The fact that they let children die because of their beliefs really pisses me off.  If they want to read and interpret the bible in their screwy way, that's fine...AS AN ADULT.  A child will interpret things as their parents do, or in this particular case, his primary caregiver apparently.  Their minds are not developed enough to make such an enormous decision such as LIVING.  They do brainwash.  Call it what you want, but anytime you take a small unformed brain and tell it repeatedly and frequently anything....it's brainwashing, or brainsoaking, whatever you want to call it.  That child did not know enough about life to make this choice.  He never got a chance to know what he was going to be missing out on.  You need to be 21 to have a beer, but 14 years younger, you can make a decision that will end your life.  That's insanity.  That's a crime.  That's just plain sad.

For anyone that cares....this is what they believe on this subject and why (directly from their own website)....it's skewed if you ask me.

Taking blood into body through mouth or veins violates God's laws

Gen. 9:3, 4

3 Every moving animal that is alive may serve as food for YOU. As in the case of green vegetation, I do give it all to YOU. 4 Only flesh with its soul—its blood—YOU must not eat.  (OK...to ME, it sounds as if we aren't to eat creatures that are ALIVE or that haven't been drained of their blood first.  Perhaps that we shouldn't consume their blood.  Transfusions...um...probably wouldn't have been the first scripture I would have listed)

Lev. 17:14

14 For the soul of every sort of flesh is its blood by the soul in it. Consequently I said to the sons of Israel: “YOU must not eat the blood of any sort of flesh, because the soul of every sort of flesh is its blood. Anyone eating it will be cut off.”   (OK...to ME, it's made very clear that the soul and blood are one and the same.  When a creature dies, the blood stops flowing.  Got it.  It's pretty clear with the next sentence....DO NOT EAT THE BLOOD...God doesn't want us becoming blood drinking vampires....the blood is sacred...it is symbolic of life and we shouldn't consume it as if it were food!  Again, not following the reasoning behind the no transfusion defense)

Acts 15:28, 29

28 For the holy spirit and we ourselves have favored adding no further burden to YOU, except these necessary things, 29 to keep abstaining from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication. If YOU carefully keep yourselves from these things, YOU will prosper. Good health to YOU!” (OK...lol...to ME, (and this is the lamest one to list if you ask me) since the reference to good health is made, I gotta wonder if maybe this instruction of no blood might just be to keep man from eating UNCOOKED MEAT!!!!!  lol )

I know I'm making light of things here, but I just don't see their reasoning.  AND I DON'T WANT TO!  DO NOT CONTACT ME WANTING TO STUDY WITH ME OR SHOW ME THE ERROR OF MY WAYS OR TRY TO ENLIGHTEN ME!  This is MY blog.  Feel free to comment all you want with your opinions, but keep in mind that I am NOT afraid that I am going to Hades for steering anyone away from "the truth".  God knows my heart and I will be judged accordingly.  THAT is MY belief.  I also think he might take into account all of the damage that was done to me mentally as a child of this organization.  But that is as far as I'm taking that today.

That's what they list on their page under list of beliefs regarding this subject.  They go into it further elsewhere on their site, with a much more convincing argument....because they need more than just scripture....I just grew weary of the BS.  Feel free to look into if you want.  I think they are good at skewing scripture....seeing what they want to see and making you see it too....aka....brainwashing.

ANYHOW, they don't belong on the list with the likes of those that might put a middle-aged woman to death by lashing for misnaming a teddy bear....... but he was just a little boy.

 Took this cat quiz on MSN today and was saddened to learn I was so ignorant about these creatures I love so much.  My 5/10 score was about 50% short of what I expected to get. *blushing*  Of course that was before I read the questions.... 

If you consider yourself "cat knowledgeable", take the  quiz and let me know how you did..... 

Cats Quiz - MSN Encarta

I missed questions # 1,4,5,8 and 9   >:(

I'm not an Astrology "believer" necessarily, but I do find it interesting.  I know from reading daily horoscopes, that so many of the things that are "foretold" could pertain to anyone on anyday.  However, the following "description" of the Sagittarius, (which I am) I came across on MSN, is pretty darn close to accurate.  Where it's not, I've noted it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fun Facts About Sagittarius
By the Astrocenter Team

Inquisitive and energetic (not so much), the Sagittarian is the traveler of the zodiac. Their philosophical, broad-minded approach to life motivates them to wander far and wide (on the web maybe) in the search for the meaning of life. Extroverted, optimistic and enthusiastic, it can be almost impossible to keep the Sagittarian down. They love change. (I was going to deny this at first, but then after reading the next sentence, I think I would have to agree.  Change can sometimes make me uncomfortable, but in the big picture of things, I do require change to keep from becoming bored) In fact, change is essential for this sign to feel their best
Friends and Family
Whether it's stimulating conversation, or a hike through the mountains, you can expect this sign to be surrounded by friends. They're a ton of fun, and downright wacky at times. They love to laugh and to get everyone around them going. Sagittarians make friends from around the globe, enjoying the various takes on life and culture. They're generous and are not ones to hold a grudge. Anyone who can sit a spell and talk about the deeper things in life will suit a Sagittarian just fine. They make friends easily and remain steadfast through the years. When it comes to family, the Sagittarian is dedicated and willing to do just about anything. Freedom and independence are extremely important for this outgoing sign. Providing these traits aren't infringed upon, all relationships go well.
Career and Money
"Visualization" is the keyword for the Sagittarian. When this sign sees something as possible in their minds, they will go to great lengths to rally enough people to make it happen. Straightforward, they don't usually mince words about what they want, and they seem to know exactly what needs to be said in a given situation. They make excellent salespeople, and it's even better when this involves travel. When the Sagittarian gets a sense of the big picture, they'll work night and day to reach a goal.
A variety of tasks and a dynamic atmosphere favor the Sagittarian. Careers such as travel agent, photographer, explorer, artist, realtors, ambassador, and import/export trader all suit this free spirited personality.
Fun-loving Sagittarians enjoy making - and spending - money. Considered the luckiest of the zodiac, they don't worry too much about where the next buck is coming from. Sagittarians are risk takers and highly optimistic, trusting in the universe to provide what is needed. Money management tasks will bore the Sagittarian to tears, so getting a bookkeeper or accountant is the best plan in order to stay on top of what's coming and going
Love and Sex
This fiery sign is playful and loves to have fun with their lovers. Passionate, expressive, and willing to try just about anything, partners who are equally outgoing are best suited to the Sagittarian. There's a fine line between sex and love for this sign. Their love of change and variety can bring a lot of different faces to the bedroom. But when it comes to love, that's an entirely different thing. Once taken, the Sagittarian is loyal, true-blue, and devoted. Mates for this sign need to be intellectual, sensitive, and expressive for the best results. As the key phrase for this sign is "I understand," having a good sense of how their partner thinks is quite important.

SAGITTARIUS TIDBITS
Sagittarius Birthdays
November 21 - December 21
Health
Each sign has a part of the anatomy attached to it, making this the area of the body that is most sensitive to stimulation. The anatomical areas for Sagittarius are the hips, thighs, and upper legs. (not that I've noticed...lol)
Ruling Planet
The ruling planet for Sagittarius is Jupiter. Considered the luckiest of planets, it rules wealth, (not in terms of dollars *smile*) leisure time, big business, (nope) the higher mind, (*giggles*) optimism, growth, morality, prosperity, indulgence, long distance travel, (perhaps if I wasn't afraid to fly...*sigh*) aspirations, sports, and a fondness for all animals.

Color
The color of choice for Sagittarius is rich purple. (lean more towards dark green)
Gemstone
Sagittarius' star stone is the topaz.
Lucky Numbers
Sagittarius' lucky numbers are 3, 5, and 8.
Compatibility
Sagittarians are most compatible with Leo and Aries.
Opposite Sign
The opposite sign for Sagittarius is Gemini.
The Perfect Gift
The best gifts for a Sagittarius are pet-related items or something for the outdoors.
Likes
Travel, being outdoors, freedom, philosophy
Dislikes
Details, (sort of prefer details) being constrained, off-the-wall theories, clingy people
House
Natural sign of the Ninth House. This house focuses on religion, philosophy, super-conscious mind, long trips, laws, and in-laws.
Famous Sagittarians
Steven Spielberg, Mark Twain, Tina Turner, Jimi Hendrix and Winston Churchill

HAPPY

THANKSGIVING

to you and yours....

 ___________________________________________________________________

I am so thankful to have met all of you and the friendships that we have developed.

-Heidi

 This must have been one hungry squirrel!  Coming into the yard where 6 dogs and 7 cats live is risky business.  My boys were the first to notice this brave little guy this morning, and since I had never seen such a thing before, I snapped a few pictures and even taped a few seconds on my digital camera.  I just wished I had been able to catch him making his way INTO the pumpkin in the first place!  There was a hole in the top of this pumpkin the size of a dime from a Halloween decoration we had removed but then this squirrel dug it out big enough so that he could fit down in it to reach the seeds at the bottom. Note the pumpkin shards laying around the outside edge of the pumpkin on the patio...*smiles*  During his feast he was only interrupted once by a cat who we called in as soon as we saw him and we kept the dogs inside until I was sure he would burst if he ate one more seed......lol.

To watch the video clip - click HERE.

 THE GOLDEN COMPASS, a new movie targeted at children, will be released December 7, 2007. This movie is based on the first book of a trilogy by atheist Philip Pullman. In the final book a boy and girl kill God so they can do as they please. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "My books are about killing God". The movie is a watered down version of the first book and is designed to be very attractive (and it is!  Click HERE to see the trailer) in the hope unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the the movie and that the children will want the books for Christmas.
The movie has a well known cast, including Nicole Kidman and Sam Elliott. It will probably be advertised extensively, so it is crucial that we get the word out to warn parents to avoid this movie.

You can research this for yourself.

Start with this article on snopes.com

<http://snopes.com/> , then go to Google.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

<http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp>

  PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COPY AND POST TO YOUR OWN BLOG OR PASS ALONG

My Step-father sent this e-mail to me....thought I'd pass it along here as well as e-mailing it to my contacts.  According to the research, the media may not publicize this too much, so we'll have to pass the word along ourselves.  I'm not sure about you, but that's one more problem I don't need!  I'd like to wring Pullman's neck! 

Me, my 2 boys, my mother and my sister have now all been terminated as patients of our respective doctors. 

Before you start to think that my we are all a bunch of big mouth psychos, let me explain.

The circumstances under which I was terminated were ridiculous.  The long, short story and bottom line is this.....after my children's psychiatrist had incorrectly written their prescriptions for the third time, I voiced my opinion.  It got me kicked out of the office where both I and my two boys were seeing doctors.  It should be noted that I never used foul language and never threatened anyone.  The simple fact that I (perhaps a little loudly) stated that I was unhappy about the situation was all it took.  A couple days after the incident, I received the letter that terminated us as patients.  I have much more to say on this subject....but that can be for another day.  I'll just say this.  They did us a favor.  We ended our experience with Psychiatrists on that note and now I'm no longer throwing a shit-load of money out the window.

The circumstances under which my sister was terminated, were justified however.  lol  After being charged $50 for missing her appointment with her general physician, she too voiced her opinion.  She however, got a little personal and did use foul language.  She also told them that her mother would also not be returning as a patient....and that is how my mother got wrapped up in all of this.  My mother was in shock when she got her termination letter - with good reason.  For those out there with grown children....beware.  Their actions can still affect you. 

The true ramifications of my sister's actions were yet to come.  After my mom called the doctor's office to plead her case.....that the actions of her adult child should not affect her relationship with her doctor....she was told that the decision was made and that all they could do was recommend another physician for them.  When my sister called that physician however, she found out that she had been "black listed".  This is where doctors within a certain corporation "share" information....such as terminated patients.  Apparently, if you're terminated with one, you're terminated with all.  With certain insurances, your choices can be limited.  My mother was losing it - and just a tad upset with my sister.  After making this discovery, she called back to her doctor's office and pleaded to speak with her doctor directly.  When her doctor called her back, she apologized profusely and was able to get herself back in as a patient.  As for my sister.....she asked for my doctor's phone number.  I gave it to her and told her not to tell them that we're related.

The lesson.....make sure you have another doctor lined up before you voice your opinion to your physician.  They don't need much reason to cut you loose and it can cause a lot of headaches for you - and that's the last thing you need when you don't have a doctor.

This past Wednesday was a bad day.  In the morning (before I had even had my coffee) I got a phone call.  The caller I.D. showed it was one of my son's school's - and I just took a deep breath and answered.  It was the principal of my oldest son's school.  Not good.  He informed me that Tyler had gotten into a fight on the bus - with a girl - and after a brief description of what he thought had happened, he informed that Tyler and the other girl were being suspended from school for 3 days.  I should have been shocked, but I wasn't.  Tyler has been doing much better this year, but he still has issues.  I apologized for his behavior and told him we'd do what we could to assure it didn't happen again.  Tyler was allowed to finish the day out and that gave me time to gather my thoughts and calm down.  After calling Tom and discussing what had happened, we decided it was time to come down hard on him.  Around noon, I got another call while I was out running errands.  This was from my youngest son's teacher.  Apparently he has not been turning in his "in-class" work.  He's in 1st. grade.  6 years old.  I'm thinking what in the world????  She says sometimes he'll just turn a blank paper with just his name on it and sometimes nothing at all.  She says she's looked in  his desk, the trash and the recycle bins and can't figure out what he's doing with them.  She said she sat him down and questioned him about it but couldn't get anything out of him.  She said she even used her "mean" face.  lol  She's a wonderful teacher - we really like her...Tyler had her for first grade too, so, I know her and she just sounded perplexed.  When he got home, we questioned him over and over and all we got was...."I do my work and turn it in where I'm supposed to!!!"  *throwing my hands up in the air*  We also used our "mean" faces and voices and hopefully if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, he will stop it.  I've talked to her since and she's agreed to move his desk closer to hers to watch him more closely and hopefully we can stop whatever is going on.  He's smart....but not that smart....at least I didn't think so.....

As for the older one....he's under house arrest.  No TV, no computer, no phone, no games, he's only allowed out of his room to do chores and lots of work around the house and yard that we've come up for him to do.  He's done the work without complaint so far and we think we are getting through to him.  We made him read the letter that the school sent home to us regarding the suspension that stated that if he were to set foot on school grounds during the suspension period he would be arrested and I think that might have did it.  His eyes got as big as saucers.  He gets now that he "broke the law" - not a school rule, not his parents rule.  The law.  A little fear sometimes is necessary to raise a child....at least one like mine. 

Washoe, the first chimpanzee believed to be able to use sign language died Tuesday night.  She was about 42 years old and passed away from natural causes at The Chimpanzee and Human Communications Institute on the campus of Central Washington's Ellensburg University.  

Washoe was the matriarch of her family and the only chimp at the institute to actually be born in Africa,  around 1965.  She had a vocabulary of about 250 words and even taught 3 of the younger chimps to sign.  A memorial is scheduled for Washoe on November 12th.  

Click here for the story on MSN.

It's impossible (to me at least) to look into the eyes of these creatures and not see something very like us staring back.  You can see the wisdom, the emotion, the connection.  Their genetic makeup is indisputably similar to ours, so to think that they couldn't communicate with us would be (in my opinion) ignorant.  Jane Goodall agrees that the work with Washoe was important and "has opened a window into the cognitive workings of a chimpanzee’s mind that adds new dimension to our understanding".  For this and all her time with us that she gave in captivity, I thank her and will remember her.